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THINGS NOT TO DO: A Survival Guide
Book One: Land Mammals

Wild animals aren't the problem. We are.

You're hiking a quiet trail when you round a bend and stop dead — a black bear and her two cubs are foraging thirty feet away. The cubs haven't noticed you. The mother has. What you do in the next ten seconds matters more than anything you learned from a nature documentary.

This book covers that moment, thirty times over.

Thirty land mammals. Five things not to do with each one. What actually happens if you ignore the warning, and — because someone always does — a real, documented account of the person who found out the hard way. You'll learn why Cape buffalo are nicknamed "the widowmaker," why a kangaroo's kick deserves more respect than its ears do, and why the honey badger's fearless reputation is exactly as earned as the internet claims.

The advice is real, pulled directly from park services, wildlife agencies, and conservation organizations — every source cited, every claim checkable. The jokes are not real advice, and you'll know the difference, because that's the whole point.

Inside:

• 30 animals, from black bears to sloth bears to feral kangaroos
• 5 emergency-response cards per chapter — what to do if it charges, right now
• Real encounter stories, verified and sourced, not invented
• A field guide, a warning-signs cheat sheet, and a 29-question quiz to test what stuck
• A world map showing exactly where each animal actually lives

Nature is amazing. You, on the other hand, are one questionable decision away from becoming somebody's cautionary tale.

Read the rules. Maybe you'll live to brag about it.

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